Is that dinner, or are you just happy to see me?

Living in a second-tier city has its drawbacks. Much as I often tout the comforts of living in Dalian—relaxed atmosphere, clean(ish) streets, blue(ish) skies—some things just can't be found outside Beijing. Like this, for example:

Beijing's Penis Emporium.

The Guolizhuang restaurant claims to be China's only speciality penis emporium, and no, it is not a joke.

The atmosphere is more exotic spa than boozy night-out.

Nancy [the waitress] describes herself as a nutritionist.

"We don't call them waiters here. And we don't serve much alcohol," she says. "Only common people come here to get drunk and laugh."

It seems a steaming plate of dick is one of the healthiest things you can eat. Go ahead, chow down. Still not sure? Here's what you can expect, according to the BBC story:

• "Donkey... Good for the skin..."
• "Snake. Very potent. They have two penises each."
• "Sheep... horse... ox... seal - excellent for the circulation."

The vital organ, as it were, is "low in cholesterol and good, not just for boosting the male sex drive, but for treating all sorts of ailments." Never would have guessed.

Months ago, I boasted a "try anything" policy, a stance that got me a mouthful, and then a handful, of black and rubbery sea slug. At the time, Jeremiah offered this advice: “If you like something, don’t ask what it is or what is in it. You won’t like it as much after you get the answer.”

When this comes to your table, though, do you really need to ask?

(Tip o' the hat to Sam, who emailed me the story from England.)

Before: Useful Distractions | After: Happy Easter